In less than 6 weeks, maybe sooner, I will finally get to greet my baby boy E. I am no where near prepared for his arrival, but my excitement outweighs my fears in this life changing moment that will occur in March.
So before I dive in, I have decided to be very raw in the post. It is easy to hide behind beautiful designer clothes, vibrant make-up and words that you have control typing to create an image of how you want to be perceived.
I am blogger and yes, I show snippets of my life. Keyword, snippets. People get pieces of Facebook statuses, tweets and Instagram photos and somehow finish a puzzle that does not exist. So what does this have to do with my third trimester? Well, it has to do with a lot.
If you didn’t read my first trimester post
, I strongly suggest you do to understand the whole picture. This pregnancy has been an unexplainable experience. Like I stated in my first trimester post, I have been at the highest high and also at the lowest low in my life. I have been extremely selective on what I share on social media regarding my life for the past 8.5 months. I feel like social media is not a place to spill my entire life out for the world to read. But, in the months where I got depressed, I found myself googling and researching for support groups, encouragement and desperately trying to find other people that were in a similar place as me. That’s when I realized, there might be someone like me trying to research and find some sort of comfort in knowing that they too are not alone. So this is one of the reasons why I am getting more personal in this post and sharing my final stages of my pregnancy. Side note: I what to thank Jenna Christina
for the beautiful photos! This shoot truly displays the essence of this post, organic and laid back in the comfort of my home….now, grab a cup of tea, coffee or whatever you drink and dive into my third trimester experience!
To be honest, I am hurting like hell. It feels like I have pulled every muscle in my abdomen, received a swift kick between the legs and body slammed. Although my body is going through growing pains, I can honestly say that the third trimester is far better than the first trimester hands down. At 34 weeks, I am up 30lbs and it is all belly (happy to say I STILL fit in my pre-pregancy jeans with a maternity band). But being all belly comes with a price. I feel like I am carrying a mini watermelon which causes me to sashay my way around and wear a belly band to protect my back. Bedtime use to be such a drag. I typically sleep on my back or on my stomach, BUT the joy of having a big ole’ belly allowed me only one sleeping position, my side. My solution, 7 pillows! Aside from my midnight pee breaks, I can officially sleep like a rock! Another new body change, my very first varicose vein, great! My solution to prevent more from popping up (literally), compression tights! Thank heavens I have not experience swelling! I heard frightening stories about women’s feet and ankles blowing up causing them to permanently go up a size in shoe, a shoe hoarders worst nightmare! All in all, the third trimester is an energy drainer because baby is growing so rapidly. But, it is fascinating to watch your belly shift from side to side and feel your little one stretch, kick and hiccup from time to time. It is crazy to think that you have a special bond with someone who you haven’t met, but who has been with you for almost 9 months!!!
Baby E currently weighs 5lbs 1oz (spazzing out as I am typing this). I plan to birth all natural with no medication (say a prayer) while receiving assistance from a doula. My biggest fear as of this moment and I kid you not I am getting chills typing this out….is not the contractions or hours worth of pain…it’s the aftermath. My biggest fear is getting cut open and having to get stitches whether it is having c-section or tearing during birth (goosebumps have made a presence on my arm).
Love Life and Support:
I am still in awe at how many people (most who don’t even know me) ask about my love life. Every time I get the question of, “What happened”, “Are you still with him” or an annoying statement of, “Well I think….”, I typically roll my eyes, curse, ask myself or someone close to me why it is any of your business and either ignore the question or give a brief answer. But, I am now going publicly address the elephant in the room because I know I am not the first, last or the only one out there who is dealing with annoying questions and statements of their relationship status while being pregnant. I once said, “I wish I could go to more weddings and less baby showers.” Guess the joke is on me huh? I was in a relationship for more than a half a decade. Unfortunately shit happens and we went our separate ways….it felt like a divorce. One month into living the single life was when I learned I was pregnant. It was quite difficult to comprehend that I would have a child with the person that I once was romantically, emotionally, spiritually and physically involved with. It was not the way I pictured starting out a family, but things don’t always go according to plan! Fortunately, we are getting guidance on how to co-parent so that we can be the best parents to our son and putting our differences aside 🙂
I was so worried about how others would view me as a single mother until my mother snapped me out of my funk. She told me not to care what others think and to be proud of being able to take on the best job ever. I have accomplished so much during the past 25 years, but I now get to experience something that is much more fulfilling which is to create a life and to raise a child. I am so blessed to have such a supportive family who is always there for me even when I mess up to the point where I can’t even deal with myself. Having my family’s support and the grace of God has been my saving grace to staying sane and positive during my rough patches.
I hope you enjoyed my little novel! For anyone who is pregnant or who might be dealing with a life changing circumstance, feel free to reach out 🙂 I know how important it is to be able to communicate your fears, concerns and struggles. No one is perfect or has a perfect life, we are human and we need support one another. Take care!xoxo